its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
