please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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