I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
