fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
