Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
