the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
