all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
