we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
