Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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