well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
