Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
