yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
