before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
