Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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