are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
