I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
