We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
