I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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