I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That accounts for only three of the penises
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
