Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
