she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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