Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
