My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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