kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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