I accidentally had phone sex last night
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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