it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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