I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
