i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
