I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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