if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
