I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My hand turned me down
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
