so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
