how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize