That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
