Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If its not for food we ain't going out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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