tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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