It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
