shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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