I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
