So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Farmville is her only friend.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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