why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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