at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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