White coat. Heels.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
