Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
