I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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