You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
