you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
