We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Maybe he injected his testicle?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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