I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
