Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
