hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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