Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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