Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize