alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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