We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
