Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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